Shmen!!

My younger sister, the next one after me, is graduating from high school this spring. It's tripping me out because I just don't see her as that old. I mean, I see the woman she is becoming and I feel close with her because we are both older now and can relate more, but it's just still unreal to me. I guess it's because it is still hard for me to accept that I'M so old and therefore, no one younger than me can be old.

Jen is the closest to my age. She is 4 years younger than me and we were always close growing up. We had lots of fun playing princesses and poor people (remember our pillows we carried all our "belongings" in?) and teacher and spies and house ("Sistah!"), Sorry Lady, Sailor Moon, and a million other imaginative games. We had lots of fun, along with our other 3 sisters.

Don't worry, we had our share of fights. I mean, we were average kids and that's average these days. Being the oldest, it was usually my fault ("You broke my overalls!"). I was a victim of having horses thrown at me and my barbies hair messed up (I always kept my barbies nice and neat and hated them all messed up....). That list could go on and on haha. But it's part of growing up. We laugh at some memories of that, but it's not what we look back and remember.
Jen was ALWAYS copying me. Linda always tells the story about how I would put my red blanket on my head to give myself Ariel hair and would swim around the house, and Jen would be right behind me, doing the same thing. One time, Jen gave up pineapple for a YEAR just because I don't like it. Finally, one day she said, "I love pineapple and I am eating it!" It drove me nuts that she would copy me on everything. "It's a compliment," I was always told. I didn't care, it bugged me so much! I guess it was just because she looked up to me. But I am not gonna lie, I definitely took advantage of this role by having Jen do everything for me. One of our favorite games was for her to be my servant. Well, maybe it was one of my favorite games. Haha.
As we got older, Jen began to form her own opinions and didn't copy me as much. We had a stage of life where we didn't get a long very well because I was getting older but she was still a kid and we couldn't relate. But it didn't take long for her to catch up and we could relate again and we became really close. We would go for bike rides allll the time, to the beach or just around Mile Square Park. We were able to talk about school or boys and then soon driving or work or money or stress. We started being able to share our testimonies with each other, share spiritual struggles or experiences with each other. I have been able to be there for her when she needs to vent or just needs help with someone or advice about something. But she keeps getting older and I feel like she's passing me up. She's so smart! She's got so much on her plate and I just don't know how she does it. She's got honors classes, two soccer teams and a field hockey team (all varsity). She's on the school newspaper and goes to seminary. She's got good friends but the little bit of free time she has on the weekends, she spends working at the movie theater. I'm sorry but that's one thing I have never been able to do is give up my weekend nights. She does SO much and I just don't see how she does it. She's amazing and although she has a temper when she gets super stressed out (which happens a lot with a schedule like that, who can blame her!) but that's what reminds me she's human. She's beautiful and has so much going for her and is still shy and nervous around groups of people or boys. That reminds me she's human. I just hope she remembers that she IS human and it's ok to not do everything.
In more recent years, I have really noticed how much power I still do have with her, being her older sister. It's not so much making her my servant anymore. It's how much my example can be an influence on her. It's how much she still looks up to me. It can be overwhelming sometimes but it's a role that I need to take very seriously. We've had talks before about things that I realize that my example can be SO important. Personally, I was very against going to BYU because it was so cliche to go there as a mormon. But doing so apparently made it a little cooler for the ones below me to go too. I mean, not that it was uncool, but for a sister who was also trying to fight the stereotypical choice for a university, it caused her to rethink that decision as well. I think she really needs to get out on her own and I think this is the ideal situation for her to be on her own for the first time. I know it was for me. She just found out she got in to BYU and I am so excited for her. I am proud of her and I am nervous for her. She has so many adventures ahead of her and I am not gonna lie, part of me is jealous that she is just beginning when I am just ending. But that's the same thing I felt when I graduated from high school and she was just entering. It's not outweighed by my happiness for her. She's going to love it and she's going to be great. It looks like I will be sticking around here for that next year, interning and what not, so I am so excited that I get to be apart of this new adventure of hers. It's something we can share together, just between us.She is officially a Cougar and I will forever be a Cougar as well. Welcome to the family!! Go Cougars!!