Spring Pink and Conference!!

Part 1:

This weekend, we spent conference over at KR's parents. We hadn't been there in a week or two and as we drove around the corner I literally gasped!! I've been seeing the cherry blossoms around town and I honestly consider stopping on the side of the road, every time, to take pictures. And now, they were right in front of me and I was SO glad I had my camera!!

Soo....I had a little photo shoot!

The view as you drive up the driveway

I love the contrast of the blue and green in the background of this one!

and I just love the flood of pink in the background of this one

So cute!

Another pretty flower!

Oh and FYI, I was REALLLY mad...I hadn't gotten ready yet and the day was pretty crazy so I was never able to take a {good} picture of the two of us in front of the pink trees. I'm hoping they last long enough to still get one.

Happy Spring!!


Part 2:
Conference was amazing, as usual.

I don't usually like talking about too personal of topics on my blog, but in order to bear my testimony, background is necessary.

I've been struggling lately. I know many jokes are made about the weather in Oregon being so rainy and gray. And jokes are made about it making you depressed and needing vitamin D supplements. But I've sincerely been struggling lately because of it.

For a while now, I haven't felt quite like myself. I've been lazy, negative, down on myself, quick to anger and completely impatient with anyone and everything (even more than usual haha).

At first, I just thought I was homesick. The weekend before last, it started getting worse and I finally started realizing all my anger was toward the lack of sun and how mad I was that I don't live in California anymore. I miss the beach and the summer and being warm and dry and the SUN. {and of course my family, but that's a given and I always feel that} Then the following Tuesday, I hit rock bottom. I was at the lowest I've felt in a long time and I cried all morning and had the worst day.

It sounds so silly but I prayed so hard that the sun would come out the next day. I prayed so hard for sunshine. And Heavenly Father heard my prayer. He knew how much I needed that hope and He answered my prayer. For the first time in what felt like weeks, the sun poked through on Wednesday. It definitely was a tender mercy. I was able to push through and just use denial to move forward a bit; but the pain and depression was still lingering in the back of my mind.

And then, this weekend happened. I woke up early Saturday, KR and I drove to his parents house and we listened to General Conference. I was privileged to hear from those chosen by God to teach and lead and guide us in this day. And the day was the most beautiful, sunny day! (The pictures above were taken that morning)

I know a lot was said that I missed, just because there is always so much to take in. [I can't wait to read it in the Ensign!] But even still, my spirits were lifted and I really felt His love for me and how blessed I am. I really understood Spring and renewal and the resurrection. I saw these beautiful flowers and the bright sun and heard these words and felt the spirit and understood what it means to be reborn, to have new life and that gave me so much hope. I am grateful for the testimony I have and the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father that anchors me during the hard times and doesn't allow me to drift during times when I might otherwise. I know the pain and depression is still down inside me and won't just vanish (until maybe the sun comes out permanently haha....which isn't usually until July here) but I feel a renewed strength to fight it.

Lastly, I want to apologize for being so distant with family back home. It's been really hard to hear about the weather back home. Again, I know it sounds silly, but there is a physical reaction to a lack of Vitamin D and sunshine. It's called Seasonal Affect Disorder and I've always joked about it but now that I am feeling how I've felt for so very long, I do realize it's more serious than I thought. I'm still happy and things are good, but it's just...hard to explain. Anyway, if I could enlist in the help of you, my loved ones, as silly as it sounds, the best thing for me is to focus on the positive in my life (which there is so very much I am blessed with and I do try to remember every day) and to not focus on what could be or what I used to have. The simplest thing is to not bring up the weather back home, or things that make me homesick. I appreciate your support and I love you all very much.

I am grateful also for my husband. I know this trial would be a lot harder if I didn't have a man by my side who loves me so much and helps me and encourages me. He's patient when I'm not, he's positive when I'm down, he's strong when I'm weak. I am thankful for the love I feel for him, too. If I didn't love him so darn much, it would be easier to not do anything and let him do all the dishes and make all the dinners and to be rude to him. I still love him more than I do the sun...which is saying a lot!

I hope you all had a wonderful conference weekend and I would love to hear what you learned or what meant the most to you from the talks.

HAPPY SPRING!!